Is that a baby on the road!?

Yep, it was bound to happen: there are only so many times you can see a mother, father, child, dog and groceries on a 2-person scooter before one of them falls off.
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Setting:
Hanzhong, Shaanxi Province, Middle Kingdom
Evening on the New Bridge across the Han River

Weather:
Muggy evening, the remnant of the day's oppressive heat; mosquitoes are in a breeding frenzy, trying to have sex all over my body.

Action:
I'm coming off the New Bridge, returning to town. I'm walking backwards on the southbound lane, not that there's really a backwards. Scooters and cars are everywhere and out of nowhere a motorcycle is approaching very, very fast. There are three young guys on it and without reason or necessity they cut-off a family (3 people) on a scooter, clipping its front wheel so that it wobbles uncontrollably for a few seconds
before the man is able to steer it straight again.

Well...

During those few seconds of wobbling-- during which I am certain it will fall over-- the woman seated on the back drops her baby! The child isn't older than six or eight months and is wrapped in a blanket so perhaps this helps protect him somewhat. But she drops it on the road!!

The mother instantly realizes what she did and begins yelling like a mad woman. The husband stops and she runs to pick her baby off the road. The three punks on the motorcycle look back at what they've caused but speed away like the young punks they are. Shaken but visibly relieved the mother cries on the sidewalk with baby in arms. The father chases after the motorcycle but I doubt he catches them.

In 20 seconds it's over.

Notably, there are many witnesses but none make any effort to pick up the child or comfort the mother. This is just what you do: bear witness and don't interfere. This is China.

Sancho Liberman Wants to Know: "How Chinese Are You?"

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and wondered if you're Chinese? Has anyone ever asked you if you're half Chinese? Well, now you can know with 100% certainty if you're Chinese or not.


Note: I love almost everything Japanese.

1. "Climbing Mountains" is the most common answer to the question: What are your hobbies?
    Note: Seriously, these is a country of mountain climbers.

2. Japan is your greatest enemy and you want to kill them all yet purchase their products without a hint of irony.
     Note: History is not easily forgotten 'round these parts.

3. You think Buicks are quality automobiles.
    Note: Buicks are on the same level as Audis and BMWs...well, almost.

4. You wore crotchless and buttless pants as a child.
   Note: Makes it easy for your parent to hold you over the sidewalk so you can pee!

5. Buying gifts for others is more important than buying them for yourself.
   Note: Chinese are very, very generous people.

6. You refer to the "Province of Taiwan."
   Note: My Taiwanese peoples will hate me for this!

7. You yell "Hello?" at all foreigners.
   Note: Yeah, as a question.

8. You dislike Shanghainese because they think they're better than other Chinese. Alternately, if you're Shanghainese you think you're better than other Chinese and refer to them all as "farmers."
   Note: Hahaha

9. You love fried chicken and watermelon.
   Note: There are two fried chicken restaurants under my town's main square and another four facing it.

10. You carry your girlfriends purse/make your boyfriend carry your purse.
   Note: Men carry their murse in addition to their girlfriend's purse. I carry an almost-murse.

11. You don't buy things on credit.
   Note: Cars are bought cash. Americans could learn a lot from Chinese money-management.

12. You warn friends against visiting Tibet because Tibetans are all dangerous criminals prone to violence.
   Note: Different media, different portrayal of Tibetans than in the West.

13. Joe Pazz tells you you're Chinese.
   Note: Pazztrodamus knows. Joe Pazz knew I was Chinese before I did!


0: You're Japanese aren't you?!
1-2: On your way to becoming a good Chinese citizen; probably own a Japanese car.
3-4: Your father or your mother is Chinese; proud owner of a Nikon or Canon
5-6: You're pretty Chinese but would like to live in the West a few years; don't own Japanese products but don't mind using them.
7-11: You're the average Chinese who would like to build a strong China so it can destroy Japan; attend annual anti-Japanese demonstrations.
12-13: You're going to report me to the Politburo because I shouldn't be allowed to access blogs from within China; debating where to get the second "Death to Japan" tattoo. SL

Tragedy Befalls Hanzhong

So it's taken me a while to talk about this but it was quite traumatizing. Here it goes:

Back in May a man walked into a private preschool a few kilometers from my school and killed nine children with a machete. It was the last of a spate of well-publicized child-killings which occurred over a two-week period. I was the first in my school to find out thanks to the BBC and in the following days we hired security guards, installed security cameras, purchased batons and a giant fork (Pictured Left) to keep potential attackers at a distance. After the fear died down these became our favorite off-hour toys!

Less than a week after the gruesome attack students were joking about the incident, the young ones bursting in through class doors while holding imaginary machetes and attacking their classmates. Gotta love kids! But still quite disturbing.

I attended a wedding a few blocks from the attack about two weeks afterward which was pretty weird but not as weird as having a "Crazy Machete-Man Attack Drill" with kids. As if earthquakes, fires and Pig Flu weren't enough for these kids, now they also had to prepare for crazy middle-aged attackers!

The government seems to be doing all it can to prevent these attacks but the important question is: Why are they happening? Luckily, I've figured it out for you...in the next post. SL

Article on attack

Development, Chinese style

Ever find yourself in a Chinese city and wonder about its size? Yeah, me too! Like all the time. I've come to realize that China is like SimCity where cities are awarded "gifts" upon breaking certain population thresholds. What follows is a completely objective list based on a Chinese government report titled "Everybody Gets a Colonel."

KFC (Ken De Ji): Come standards with the Chinese City-building Kit; every Chinese city has at least one.

McDonalds: Upon achieving 750K residents, cities are awarded a McDonalds.

Pizza Hut/Papa John's: When 2.5M souls decide to call a city home they are rewarded with a Pizza Hut and Papa John's.

Haagen-Daaz: How many people does it take to eat at Haagen-Daaz? Five million!

Subway: At about 7M residents the Chinese government will fund a subway line for your city. This is important because a functioning subway is a prerequisite to opening a  Subway sandwich branch.

Starbucks: A city large enough to hold 10M residents deserves a Starbucks. And then another. And another. SL

How to Cross A Flooded Street (And Influence Your Uncle)

So Hanzhong had another day of heavy rain, which for me meant the four streets surrounding my apartment were flooded. It happened for the first time in July, just before returning to 'Merca. And it happened again today.

It was a pretty heavy day so let me say the heavy rain was symbolically appropriate. When I headed to work the streets were fine; when I returned home they were a knee-deep, fast-flowing river. Of course. That kind of day.
------------------------------------------------------------

After work I walk to a fancy bakery where I pick up a chocolate donut. I then head to another, even better, bakery to get a beef sandwich. From this bakery I can see the street my house sits on and it looks like a lake. I backtrack about two blocks in order to get a cab; after a long wait and many lost conversations I finally find one who's willing to take me near my house.

The taxi driver leaves me on the curb where the water is barely flowing over-- I take a giant leap and manage to get only a little wet. I make it home via some back alleys only the locals (yeah, I'm a loc) know while avoiding the floodwaters.

But of course, this is also a night I have to go out. Ayyyy. I manage to find a bicycle taxi guy to ferry me across the flooded road to a non-flooded part where I catch a taxi to some bars. I meet up with some Chinese friends I dislike (mainly because the laugh at my pronunciation) and then meet up with my most favorite Chinese person ever-- my friend Yang Lu-- who is super-cool and does NOT make fun of my accent.

I know I will likely have to cross the flooded road on my way home so make it a point to drink much pijiu (beer) in case the worst-case scenario proves true. Judging by how the night went, worst-case was expected and was a fitting end to my night. Ha.

The taxi driver refuses to drop me off on the curb and instead leaves me across the flooded street from my home. What to do? It's the Second World...you improvise!!!

First, PEE. Many beers, lowered inhibitions, running water...what did you expect?!
Step Two: Remove shoes, roll up jeans.
Step Three: Cross, slowly. Acknowledge others crossing with a "Shit, man!" look.
Step Four: Remove socks, throw as far as possible in ironic disgust and put shoes on.
Step Five: Look at doorman and show rolled-up jeans as proof you walked across flooded street.
Step Six: Remove clothing; play Two and a Half Men DVD; type.

Annoying? Yes. But these types of events (and resulting infections) make life interesting, at least for me. SL

Eight Days to Eat the World

I returned home for 8 days with a long list of things to eat. Given the complexity involved in finding lunch dates I left California very satisfied at the foods I managed to eat in that very short time. What follows is my food diary whilst in the Golden State:


Tuesday (7/20):

• At home: baguette, beans, cotija cheese
• Round Table Pizza (Guinevere's garden and BBQ Chicken), garlic twists, A&W Root Beer/Dr. Pepper

Wednesday (7/21):

• At home: eggs, beans, avocado salad, green beans, coffee
• Pickle
• At home: Chiles Rellenos, potato pancakes
• At home: Costco roast chicken
• At M&M's: Homemade chili and hummus, tortilla chips, Hamms

Thursday (7/22):

• Neto's Sausages, Santa Clara: Calabrese sausage sandwich, onion rings, Barq's Root Beer
• 7-11: Sleazy Dog and Dirty Nachos

Friday (7/23):

• At home: Chicken Mole Enchiladas, white rice with potatoes
• Some Brewery in Pacific Beach: Blue cheese bacon cheeseburger with deep-fried onions, fries and beer
• From some cart on the street: 1 cream cheese and chili dog; 1 cream cheese, chili and bacon dog

Saturday (7/24):

• From my room, the Party Suite: Salami, peperoni and nacho cheese
• Wedding Dinner: Roast beef, Caesar salad, mac n cheese slathered in nacho cheese, fish taco, nacho cheese, mini slider, Gin and Tonics
• Nacho cheese on assorted edible delivery methods

Sunday (7/25):

• Bahia Resort, San Diego: Poolside Cheese burger + PBR 
• San Diego Intl Airport: Fountain Coke (this one counts as a meal)
• At home: Beans and cotija cheese, one cheese enchilada
• In n Out: 3x2 Meal, Root Beer and Dr. Pepper

Monday (7/26):

• Gombei, Japantown: The Gombei (Teriyaki Chicken, Fried Shrimp, Croquette)  and the famous fried tofu
• Roy's, Japantown: Mocha
• At home: Chicken Green Enchiladas
• At Casa Mateo: Sauteed Veggies over quinoa, fresh guacamole
• At Blue Sun Studios, Oakland: Schafenberger brownies and Fenton's ice cream

Tuesday (7/27):

• Freshly Baked Eatery, San Jose: Turkey and Swiss sandwich
• In n Out: Barq'sRoot Beer
• Sushi Kazoo, Willow Glen: Assorted sushi, mainly hamachi nigiri but also some deep-fried Philly rolls
• Casa Vicky's, San Jose: Carnitas burrito (first time here; disappointing)

====================================================

What didn't I have? NOODLES!

What did I miss?

Fresh bagel from the Bagel House in Naglee Park
Chicken shawerma plate from Alhana Foods in San Mateo
Katsu Curry
Bun cha (ruled out because of the noodles) from City Bakery
French Dip (with cheese) from Original Joe's
Philly Cheesesteak SL

A Ride in the Clouds

The afternoon is warm and a cooling breeze blows over the land; it's Tuesday and have nothing to do so jump on my bicycle and attempt to find the elusive "Second-hand Bike Market."  The Market, I'm told,  is the place where I will be able to find a Flying Pigeon, an old bike I've been trying unsuccessfully to buy from old men, the only people who still ride them.  Since nobody in China knows how to give directions or can tell me the exact location of anything, I ride aimlessly hoping to happen upon the Market.

Fail.

No matter.

The dusty asphalt turns to dirt and wanders into little farm plots just outside of town. I follow the dirt road into another miserably verdant plot and find myself on the airport runway! I stand. I lay. I look around. I'm confused. Nobody to run me off? I'm fairly sure this is unsafe. Further off farmers haul vegetables across the runway, a lucky shortcut for this poor lot.

I retrace their paths into other plots where exposed septic tanks evaporate under the open sun.  The rows of corn and watermelon amidst which they sit will be the recipients of human and animal waste in a few days. Gross? Yes. But I appreciate the honesty with which they do this.

I ride on. The people here are extremely friendly and all smile at my presence, a gesture I return.

Nearer the Han Tai River vegetables give way to rice and farmers are busy replanting rice into flooded fields [Initially the rice is planted densely in small plots then replanted into larger fields and the plants given space to grow. I suspect this is done to allow for an extra harvest of fast-growing plants such as greens or sprouts]. The green color of rice plants is incredible for its purity and vitality and stands in stark contrast to the back-breaking labor involved in its production.

My ride continues through hamlets consisting of anywhere from 10-50 densely-constructed homes. The majority have been rebuilt out of brick or stone but vestiges of mud-brick homes remain-- some still inhabited; others slowly returning to the Earth.

The villages are connected by a new concrete road about two meters wide which must be greatly-appreciated by the farmers living in these villages. Oh, and by me (and my aging body)! I do venture onto dirt roads within the villages but more often than not (5-3) I am chased out by dogs, less friendly to outsiders than their owners.

Damn you Mongorians!!!

China has a physical Great Wall built over many hundreds of years to protect against attack from northern tribes, Mongolians included. China also has something nicknamed the Great Firewall of China, the main Internet control mechanism in the country. And for my first two months here I was able to get through using various bypasses-- Internet-based proxies and web anonymity programs mostly-- until my Gmail account was hacked in late May (Google alerted me via a conspicuous red script which said something like "Your Google Mail account has been hacked from within China. Please change your password blah blah blah." ).

I don't want to Geek you out with the details but I'll leave it at this: after that hack I was essentially trapped behind the Great Firewall of China. It was frustating because I just really wanted to go on Spacebook, watch YouTube and add stuff to the blog, however infrequently I may. I consulted many Forums seeking advice and solutions but it seems it was a nation-wide problem: at the end of May the authorities decided they would crack down on all unauthorized Internet access.

After two months of bypassing censorship I felt extremely frustrated-- and Chinese-- when I was unable to access sites I wanted. But after a month I have found another way through, however temporary it may be.

What's my solution? Ha, can't say. SL 1, CN 1. SL

Legs & Guts

It's Summer in China! How do I know? Legs & Guts!

Women do their very best to show off their legs [insert whistling here] and the men, when they wear shirts at all, have a tendency to roll them up over their belly and gently tap or rub their gut. It's especially funny when young kids do it!

More Notes on the Chinese Language

Mandarin Chinese is the first non Latin-based language I have seriously tried to learn and it is very fun trying to unlearn everything I know about language. It has been about two months and I am now able to have very simple conversations with people.

All credit for my improvement goes to my Chinese friends who tolerate my limited speaking ability and indulge my desire to learn Mandarin. Not that it's boring to hang out-- communication is much, much more than just verbal exchanges so we spend a lot of time guessing what we're saying by drawing, writing, acting and-- I suspect, because I do it--just assuming what the other is saying (I can't recommend this approach but sometimes there is no choice).

Anyway, three interesting characteristics of Mandarin:

No verb conjugation
Tense is indicated by other words-- such as tomorrow or yesterday-- or by adding "le" after the verb to indicate it has been completed. Similarly, the verb remains unchanged regardless of the pronoun: I go; You go; He go; We go; They go.

There is no plural
Context or other words provide clues as to the intended meaning. For example, using the word "henduo [many]" is a dead giveaway to plurality.


Numbers are tremendously important
But unlike in English there are only eleven distinct numbers in Mandarin (0-10). Every subsequent number is a combination of these eleven: twelve is written "ten two [shi er];" twenty-five is written "two ten five [er shi wu];" seventy-three is written "seven ten three [chi shi san];" and so on.

Days of the week are xin chi followed by the numbers one through six for Monday through Saturday. Sunday is the exception.

Months are the simply the numbers followed by the word for month- yue. January is written "one month [yi yue]"; June is written "six month [liu yue]." This pattern holds true for all months.

Some Notes on the Chinese Language

This is my first experience with a tonal language and I am still learning how it-- and they, in general-- work. Before coming I figured I would ignore the tones and just "try" to pronounce words correctly; it's worked fairly well thanks to the context I've used them in but I have had many incredibly frustrating times where I pronounce a word multiple times (and with varying accents) until the listener finally guesses what I'm saying (or pretends he does).

Mispronouncing a word in Chinese is nothing like mispronouncing a word in English; the closest analogy I can come up with are our homophones, maybe the words "beach," "bitch"  and "beech."  In this case, only a native or advanced speaker could discern the difference without context. But more accurate would be if there were four to six words that sounded similar so depended exclusively on exact pronunciation for meaning.

How difficult is this? The Communists have been trying unsuccessfully to create a universal language for China since 1948. What we think of Chinese is actually three main languages all of which are mutually unintelligible despite being written exactly the same: Putonghua, what we know as Mandarin and is the most used and understood; Wu, which is the dialect of the Shanghai region; and Cantonese, spoken in the area around Hong Kong. And within these groups there are hundreds of regional and sub-regional dialects which are understood by non-native speakers to varying degrees.

I'll leave you with this: by law, the only language spoken on television is Putonghua, the "national" language and standard dialect of Beijing. But because so many Chinese cannot understand this dialect all programs must be subtitled! SL

They All Look The Same

My school recently hired a couple of new staff for the reception desk. I interviewed them both and then spoke to them during their first day of work; very amiable girls, the sort you want as the face of any organization. On the second day one of them asked my name again (not surprising really: I forget names a lot-- especially Chinese ones-- so expect the Chinese to forget foreign names just the same).

But she knew my name; just couldn't associate with my face. She said I looked like one of the foreign teachers and she couldn't remember who was who. Well, if that foreign teacher had been Lou Diamond Phillips or an Aztec priest I could forgive her mental lapse but the guy she confused me with was much taller with short, dirty blond hair (very physically similar to my friend Matt A. AKA Hippie AKA Didgeridoo). I didn't know what to say...

"These foreigners, they all look the same," she must have thought. SL

All At Once

Hmmm. I've been out drinking thinking and decided it was time for an update. There are so many things to say so I will put them all in one...ummm, thing.

Dogs
No, they don't eat dogs. That's dumb. And wasteful. But the middle- and upper-classes are crazy about their dogs. I was told that there was a fad a few years back where people dyed their dogs' hair; I've only seen it a few times but those dogs look so punk rock!! I love em. Still popular, however, is dressing up toy breeds. I have seen them with all sorts of outfits (from the slutty to the nerdy) and even with shoes! Imagine: a dog with shoes! Bad to the Ass.

A Whole Wheel of Cheese

Yes, that's right! Someone overheard my incessant complaining about a lack of cheese in my town of Hanzhong and suggested I visit cheeseinchina.com, a site about cheese in...tun tun TUN...China. It's a small operation that makes Gouda from old Dutch recipes (hopefully drug-free) and using only organic blah blah blah milk from happy not-from-California Chinese cows

They don't have a distributor in my town so I will make the 4-hour trip north to Xi'an next Monday to meet with the distributor up there and buy a small wheel of plain Gouda and a small wheel of some other type. I'm also going to take advantage and buy some mustard and olives, which I've been unable to find here (It's terrible when you find yourself making a delicious pasta salad but are missing cheese, olives, and mustard! No emulsifier= bad vinaigrette!!)

On another exciting food note: after 4 weeks I was finally able to find non-sweet bread!!! It's been so disappointing going out and buying a loaf of sliced bread, getting the cheese (okay, we have cheese here but it's like a crappy version of American cheese) and ham out, making a sandwich and gagging at the first bite when I realize the bread is SWEET. Well, I finally found a store that sells baguettes and they're actually pretty good.

Next week I feast on real cheese and real bread!

Best Plane Ride...Ever?

Since my flight from Peru, every flight has had an increasing number of Asians. Lima-Miami had none. Miami-San Francisco had a couple. San Francisco-Chicago had a few. Chicago-London had a handful. London-Hong Kong had a solid majority. Hong Kong-Beijing had a super-majority. On Beijing-Xian I was one of two non-Chinese. And, finally, on the Xian-Hanzhong flight I was the only non-Chinese. This final plane ride was something!

First of all, the plane was of a brand I'd never heard of, which is not great when you're talking about planes--you want a trusted brand: a Boeing; an Embraer; an Airbus. Sencondly, the plane reminded me of the one Indiana Jones jumps out of near the beginning of Temple of Doom. No animals, but everything else was too reminiscent. There were only 16 passengers total, if that helps you picture my scenario. I didn't feel as unsafe as the time AA put me on a turboprop from San Diego to Los Angeles, but it was close (I think the Goose and The Stranger were on this flight...maybe The Rock as well).

By far the most entertaining part was that there was only one flight attendant and because I was there she had to translate everything into English. I swear to you the only things I could make out during a total of two minutes of English speaking were "Ladies and" and "Thank you." I badly wanted to tell her I didn't need let alone want a translation but my Chinese was worse than her English.

And, unlike most other airlines, on Chinese ones I can check in 2 bags and maybe more if I ask. Plus, they aren't stingy on giving you food: a meal and three drink services on the 1.5h Beijing-Xian flight! Now that's what I call service! SL

The Peking Hustle, Parts I & II

Two full days spent in Beijing and I feel as if I saw nothing. Probably because I didn't. I arrived on Wednesday night 11ish, peeved at my crappy luck with flights and cabbies. After registering at the hostel I walked into the bar, sat by myself in a corner table and ordered a Tsing Tao.

Before taking my first sip I noticed some local beer on tap and immediately ordered a half-liter of it. After drinking those two beers I was calm enough to strike up a conversation with some people a few tables away. We drank the night away until five or so and then I went to sleep, dead tired. I deserved the drinks and needed the rest.

I awoke on Thursday at about three or four and after going to the ATM, eating some unknown meat in unfamilar broth I felt I needed to "see" Beijing so walked to Tianamen Square.

Beijing: Initial Impressions

This is totally serious: the first thing I thought upon deplaning was "Wow, there sure are a lot of Chinese people here." Mind you I was dead tired.

I've decided I'm not quite in love with this city, though. Maybe having come from London and Paris affected my standards but Beijing is just too overwhelming in a bad sense: the streets are too wide; the pollution is so bad that the city lies in a permanent haze; the old and unique is being replaced by the new and soulless.

I saw vestiges of that old Beijing but they were mere shadows cowering beneath Soviet-era apartment blocks and pre-Olympic building-frenzy office towers. Plus, this is a city where the Sun has decided it can no longer shine. SL

Peru, Land of Chicken Hearts and Other Edibles

Peru, gastronomic capital of something. I've had the good fortune of having eaten a lot of good food in a lot of places and Peru is definitely near the top. I had earlier written that I had never before eaten as well as I was eating in Buenos Aires and the still holds true...at least as far quality is concerned; ingredients there were top-notch. But Peru is a place where street-food reigns. Street food ingredients are not, let's say, sushi-grade but the flavors are blowing my mind. And the options are astounding.

My motto for Lima is "Eat Little and Eat Often." There are few things worse than being full and wanting a bite of ten more things; that was me yesterday and I seriously considered experimenting with bulimia. You think I joke but I'm totally cereal. Totally. Cereal.

The title refers to the first thing I ate in Peru (in the city of Arequipa). It was meat, it was on a stick, it was over a charcoal grill on the sidewalk: I could say nothing other than "One please." I had no idea what it was but it looked heavenly.

It was actually terrible.

I ate one heart then went around the corner and tried giving the other to a street dog but even he refused. But I continued and ate very well in that city, something I'm continuing in Lima.SL

The Air Up Here

The air up here is unlike any I've ever encountered and I know know the meaning of altitude sickness: Crap! My first stop in Bolivia was the old mining town of Potosi, altitude 4,200m (13,00ft). i arrived at 8am and felt a complete lack of energy almost immediately. I slept until about 1pm and once awake me entire body was comatose and I could not physically get myself out of bed.

It took me about 40 minutes to finally succeed and immediately headed to the kitchen to brew some coca tea. After two cups I felt good enough to take a shower. After a third cup I walked around town with a newly-made Austrian friend but after a few hours the terrible headache and lack of energy returned. Prescription: more coca tea!

Here in La Paz I've had better luck, due mostly to being at only 3,000m. Well, 3,000m where I'm staying; the city is built in a steep valley and the wealthier people live at the base of the valley where oxygen is more plentiful. The valley walls rise steeply from the narrow base and are densely-covered with mud-brick homes that cling to them like bark to a tree. There are portions of the sides that have given way and have left massive scars on this city. Were there homes there at a point in the past? How many more scars will be inflicted upon this city? Do I really care? I just want to breathe. SL

Bolivia: By Bus

The majority of roads are dirt and the buses which ride upon them shake, rattle and frequently roll. One week before arriving in Bolivia a bus rolled, taking with it forty-something lives. On Wednesday the 5th another rolled, claiming only 28 lives. Accidents like these are a weekly occurrence and after spending about 30 hours on them so far, the rate of one accident per week seems miraculous.

But what makes travel in Bolivia nearly impossible is the fact that most buses lack bathrooms. When a 300km trip takes 12-hours and makes one stop max staying hydrated becomes a second priority to not "having to go." On one of my 12-hour rides the only thing that saved me was that one of the buses in front of us became stuck in a creek (yes, busses have to cross creeks-- bridges are only a component of paved roads, which are missing from this terrain). The two-hour wait allowed me--and others- time to relieve ourselves amidst donkeys, frogs, snakes and guitar-playing Argentines.

Our unplanned stop provided opportunity for an enterprising Bolivian (the only one I've come accross) to open his store and sell tins of tuna and corned beef, dusty, room-temperature fizzy drinks of questionable provenance and long-expired crackers. I was starving and purchased the latter two; they quieted my insides and allowed me to fully focus on the terrible ride on the edge of the Andes.

Busses always leave late and one needs to add at least two hours to the expected arrival time to not be disappointed. Hanging electrical harnesses are not to be feared; climate control is still on the drawing board; broken seats (asientos flotantes; lit: floating seats) are not uncommon; the back of the bus is to be avoided because bounces are amplified nine-fold; crying children are to be ignored; and please allow the locals to throw their trash out the window without giving them a belittling Western "Awww don't trash the planet, maaaan" look.  And if the bus gets stuck, PUSH!!! SL

Love/Hate

Bolivia is a country I love and hate at the same time and for the same reasons. I love it because the people are really nice and the food tastes really good. I love it because nothing works properly and there is no desire for personal improvement (personal, economic or otherwise). And I hate it because people are so nice in such conditions!

This is a place of striking constrast: unforgiving poverty set amongst stark and naked natural beauty; the women are built short and round, as if in protest of the sharp Andean peaks in which they live; the environment is among the harshest I've been in yet the people are some of the nicest; the land rebels against the notion of agriculture yet the food is tasty.

Ahhhh, I love you and I hate you. And this is why I will return. SL

In da beginning

The Beginning of the Trek

I left Buenos Aires on Christmas Day which unbeknownst to me was the offical start of the Argentine vacation season. The train station was full of hundreds of 20-30 year old Argentine backpackers headed to the north of the country and then to Bolivia, Peru and maybe even further. Since I left Buenos Aires there have been young Argentines EVERYWHERE, and in huge numbers.

In Bolivia they've been joined by a large numbers of Brazilians as well but nowhere near the numbers of Argies. Europeans have been everywhere in smaller numbers and Americans have been nearly non-existant. Since leaving Buenos Aires I have come across 6. Six out of about 1,000 people I've had even a slight conversation with. Six. Two from Boston, one from Anchorage, two from Denver and one from Portland. Is the economic crisis in the US that bad? SL

Chau Buenos Aires

Chau Bella, you've been more than hospitable these last three months. I could go on for hours on all of your great things but I think it will be more humorous if I focus on the things that have made you unique:

I will miss your stuck up women, especially the 6s and below who think they're physically beautiful just because they're Argentine.

I will miss the occasional cigarette below a non-smoking sign at a bar.

I will miss the stories of crazy nights that led to someone being robbed.

I will miss how Two and a Half Men is the most popular TV show.

I will miss the 12:30AM start to Sharks games.

I will miss racially selective bouncers at all clubs.

I will miss the wooden cars of the Subte's Linea A.

I will miss mosquitoes biting into my tasty flesh.

I will miss the combination of boxed-wine and soda water.SL