Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and wondered if you're Chinese? Has anyone ever asked you if you're half Chinese? Well, now you can know with 100% certainty if you're Chinese or not.
Note: I love almost everything Japanese.
1. "Climbing Mountains" is the most common answer to the question: What are your hobbies?
Note: Seriously, these is a country of mountain climbers.
2. Japan is your greatest enemy and you want to kill them all yet purchase their products without a hint of irony.
Note: History is not easily forgotten 'round these parts.
3. You think Buicks are quality automobiles.
Note: Buicks are on the same level as Audis and BMWs...well, almost.
4. You wore crotchless and buttless pants as a child.
Note: Makes it easy for your parent to hold you over the sidewalk so you can pee!
5. Buying gifts for others is more important than buying them for yourself.
Note: Chinese are very, very generous people.
6. You refer to the "Province of Taiwan."
Note: My Taiwanese peoples will hate me for this!
7. You yell "Hello?" at all foreigners.
Note: Yeah, as a question.
8. You dislike Shanghainese because they think they're better than other Chinese. Alternately, if you're Shanghainese you think you're better than other Chinese and refer to them all as "farmers."
Note: Hahaha
9. You love fried chicken and watermelon.
Note: There are two fried chicken restaurants under my town's main square and another four facing it.
10. You carry your girlfriends purse/make your boyfriend carry your purse.
Note: Men carry their murse in addition to their girlfriend's purse. I carry an almost-murse.
11. You don't buy things on credit.
Note: Cars are bought cash. Americans could learn a lot from Chinese money-management.
12. You warn friends against visiting Tibet because Tibetans are all dangerous criminals prone to violence.
Note: Different media, different portrayal of Tibetans than in the West.
13. Joe Pazz tells you you're Chinese.
Note: Pazztrodamus knows. Joe Pazz knew I was Chinese before I did!
0: You're Japanese aren't you?!
1-2: On your way to becoming a good Chinese citizen; probably own a Japanese car.
3-4: Your father or your mother is Chinese; proud owner of a Nikon or Canon
5-6: You're pretty Chinese but would like to live in the West a few years; don't own Japanese products but don't mind using them.
7-11: You're the average Chinese who would like to build a strong China so it can destroy Japan; attend annual anti-Japanese demonstrations.
12-13: You're going to report me to the Politburo because I shouldn't be allowed to access blogs from within China; debating where to get the second "Death to Japan" tattoo. SL
