Ah weight, it's on every Chinese girl's mind. Yesterday I was asked how I stay so thin. [For the record, I consider myself neither thin nor fat; I don't really care about my weight. But these girls assume all Americans are either morbidly obese or look like Brad Pitt, and I confuse them by falling into neither category.]
Since embarking on my round-the-world journeys I have inadvertently managed to lose a little weight so I am now Internet-certified to provide advice on weight-loss. I've compared diets, portions and lifestyles in Latin America, Europe and Asia and have come up with the following.
The following information I provide free of charge so you may benefit from my wisdom.
1. Don't eat so much. Look at your meal and remove 25%. You're eating too much. Don't be fat.
2. Drink only tea, water, and alcoholic beverages, never cold. 'Ever seen what happens to fat when it's cold? That's what happens in your insides when you drink cold things. Don't be gross.
3. Don't get in a car. Walk, run, take public transit. Whatever, just move. Don't be stagnant.
That's it. Keep enjoying your favorite fatty foods. Don't go out of your way to exercise. No need for gimmicky creams promising miracles even the FDA can't certify (and they'll certify anything).
Try it for one month and you'll thank me. SL
***I'm still deliberating on a fourth point, which would necessitate dietary change (something I discourage):
4. Eat what you're meant to eat. If you're European, wheat. Native American, corn. Asian, rice. Your body has evolved for tens of thousands of years to process specific foods-- don't trip it up!
Since embarking on my round-the-world journeys I have inadvertently managed to lose a little weight so I am now Internet-certified to provide advice on weight-loss. I've compared diets, portions and lifestyles in Latin America, Europe and Asia and have come up with the following.
The following information I provide free of charge so you may benefit from my wisdom.
1. Don't eat so much. Look at your meal and remove 25%. You're eating too much. Don't be fat.
2. Drink only tea, water, and alcoholic beverages, never cold. 'Ever seen what happens to fat when it's cold? That's what happens in your insides when you drink cold things. Don't be gross.
3. Don't get in a car. Walk, run, take public transit. Whatever, just move. Don't be stagnant.
That's it. Keep enjoying your favorite fatty foods. Don't go out of your way to exercise. No need for gimmicky creams promising miracles even the FDA can't certify (and they'll certify anything).
Try it for one month and you'll thank me. SL
***I'm still deliberating on a fourth point, which would necessitate dietary change (something I discourage):
4. Eat what you're meant to eat. If you're European, wheat. Native American, corn. Asian, rice. Your body has evolved for tens of thousands of years to process specific foods-- don't trip it up!
4b. Or eat what your body has evolved for tens of millions of years to process-steak!
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